I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
