Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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