Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
