You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
