Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The adults are the big ones right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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