Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
