I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
