Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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