i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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