I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my being single is dangerous.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
