yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So many bounce houses so little time
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
