Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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