he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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