She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
