oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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