hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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