is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
