dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
