My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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