when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
