you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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