It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
