The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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