Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
