if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
