Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Oh god it's open bar.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
