maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
