Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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