just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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