what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
