I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
