i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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