i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
