She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
