Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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