Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
