it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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