Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
