Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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