super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
