..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
