Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
