I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
