Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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