either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
