i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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