What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Are we still banned from the library?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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