that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
love makes seman taste better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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