Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
