I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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