You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
