$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
