Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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