I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
two words: eviction party
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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