no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
