There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
