he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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