it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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