I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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