He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
