I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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